GOOD FRIDAY REMEMBRANCES

My daughter and I celebrate her birthday on the anniversary of the solar calendar date she was born, but also on the liturgical calendar day because she was born on Good Friday. Right after she was born, I hemoraghed and almost died. Had a near death experience and it wasn't until she was six years old that I told anyone about it because I just thought people would think I was crazy . . . or that I was silly . . . or that I was trying to fool them by pretending that something that came out of my imagination was real.

I have written about it before, and am too tired to go into the whole story right now . . .

But just wanted to say,"Happy Good Friday Birthday" to Krista on this, the eve of her spiritual birthday . . . and I consider Good Friday a "Re-Birthday" for myself . . .

Ever since I got that concussion and the other slight injuries from the train accident between midnight and 1am on March 7th, on a metaphysical and emotional level, I have been more dissociated and in a kind of ultra-focused spiritually mode with an extra-consciousness awareness underneath or to the side of the connections to the more rational and/or material realities.

I have at times been in a state where I seem to be standing next to myself, or a little bit above and to the right of my physical self.

Best not to let this get back to my therapist until I can sort it out. I think the way I am feeling and understanding still leads back to the trauma and shock and physical hurts I experienced during the accident and in the 36-72 hours following the crash.

That kind of meditative state is very appropriate to Lent and Holy Week anyway . . . especially if I have people around me who love me and who know how I can get when there is an external or internal trigger of some or all of the PTSD symptoms.

Like I wrote above, though . . . I am too tired to get into any more this evening.

Dad and I took a little trip to see his podiatrist today and then we went out to have lunch at one of our favorite lunch places. After that he took a nap and now he is playing poker with his buddies at our club house.

Saw the sun set last night, and it was really lovely. For the last week or so the moon has been very bright, the evenings and nights cool with crisp and dry air. Today was the first day some of the humidity that will increase as spring goes on and as summer arrives.

The blossoming trees and flowers look so beautiful and the Gulf today was a bright light bluish grey green . . . many families and couples and other groups of people are here enjoying spring break or Holy Week or whatever else they might be celebrating. For us year-round residents, we can sometimes get irritated with all the people and traffic and crowded restaurants and stores . . . but you can't blame anyone for wanting to be here -- especially if they are from a place where winter means cold, snow, ice and darkness.

May the Lord continue to be with you all and everyone you love this evening, this night and always, Beloved. In Jesus' Holy Name I pray. Amen and Amen.