EMPRESS EDITHNA AND THE JOCULAR DILEMMA

When she finally decided to quit her part-time job as empress of the universe, Edithna Fairlinggale wasn't sure what to do next  Long had she reigned keeping everything going in the best way possible, but the Cheever the Earl of Botherington had finally gotten on her last nerve ans she had just had it with him.  Maybe she shouldn't have put that spell in the mirror on Hagerty the Harsh, and maybe when the Bunnies and Hedgehogs Ball had come she shouldn't have gotten so persnickety when the St Neville the Newt had shown up.

All together Edithna was just fed up.

The Guardian Egrets Egbert and Hubert just couldn't have been sloppier that morning at inspection and Tink the Great Blue Heron, Lord Chancellor of the Dock, was still off again who knew where doing who knew what.

So that was about it.

Edithna turned away from the window overlooking the formal gardens and headed toward the library.  She was sure Ethelbert the librarian would be able to find the Tome of Tomes to help with the protocols concerning her divestment of her duties.

As she made her way down the spiral staircase the smells of luncheon being prepared wafted up from the kitchen and Edithna almost lost her resolve in favor of a test taste of hasty pudding.  The sounds of the creaking of the floor boards under the great oriental carpets of puce and mustard interwoven with garish orange day lillies startled two or three young duckling pages and they quickly pretended to act like they were doing what they thought they were supposed to be doing.

"Greetings and salutations of every other sort, your royal Empressness," began Huey.

"Never mind all that, boys," Edithna countered. "Just don't make me have to look for you when it's time for the poker game this afternoon."

With that she swept regally past them, her deep crimson cape flowing around her ankles and her crown slightly askew.  After Dewey quickly opened the huge dark grey door to the Library, Louie helped Edithna make sure that the rest of her chartreuse lace train followed her into the room, her lavender embroidered slippers squeaking a bit as they moved from carpet to the highly polished hard wood floors.

Ethelbert looked up not at all curiously and stuttered, "Oh . . . uh, uh, uh . . . not you . . . you again.  Re  re  really??"

Edithna made a face and with her best command voice demanded the Tome of Tomes.

"Lackamer the Lark took . .  took . . . it out three weeks ago . . . ago Thursday and hasn't brought it back yet."

Ethelbert turned her back on the Empress and began feather dusting the marble figurines representing all the other rulers in the long line of Fairlinggales for six or seen centuries.

"Fine!"  

Edithna again . . . "Right!  Well, that's just fine.
Make sure he gets it to me no later than tea time and a half." 

After a beautifully executed right about face, the swirling of cloths and tweaking of slippers began again and she swept back out of the room.

And swept right into the arms of Cuthbert the Cautious, nearly bowling him over so that he almost tripped on his sword.

"Whoa!  Wait just a minute young lady!  What in the world do you think YOU'RE doing?"

"Resigning."

"What??!  Why?  When?"  Then with another splutter, "How??!"

"Oh, Cuthbert. . .  You just wouldn't understand.  I might be able to tell you about it after my archery lessons."

Edithna made another face and was really hoping all the Ferretts in Waiting would hurry and join her in time for luncheon.

"Well," Cuthbert whispered cautiously as he was wont to do, "as long as it does't have anything to do with the Jocular Dilemma I'll be fine with whatever it is."

At that Edithna's ivory complexion turned almost as rose colored as her coiffure and fainted, her broadside connecting precipitously with the oriental carpet and her crown spinning off, rolling almost to the Grand Stairway.

Let's see what else we will be able to find out about this tomorrow, eh?

Good.

Thanks!